When GMail first went invite only for the beta, I was lucky enough to be an early subscriber to get the easy to remember and extremely applicable username of scottv. Apparently, I am not the only scottv in the world, and occasionally I will get misaddressed email as an unintended recipient. Most of the time, I just ignore and delete the mail. If the sender keeps sending me mail, I usually reply and tell them they have the incorrect address. Sometimes, they just keep sending me mail no matter what I do.
A few months ago, I got an email from someone named Vicki, whom I did not know, regarding the declining health of Terry, another person I did not know. I ignored the first one, but then other people on the email started replying to it and thus to me. Eventually, I asked that they group please remove me from the list. Most complied, some did not. Eventually the mail stopped coming in about 2 weeks later.
On and off, I would continue to get updates from Vicki about Terry’s health. I would, now and then, email her and tell her that she had the wrong address and she would mail me back and apologize. One day, I got another update from Vicki that Terry had taken a turn for the worse and she was sending out a schedule for friends who were interested in helping to care for Terry at home. I didn’t reply to that one.
Last week, Vicki sent along an email about Terry coming home from the hospital to go into Hospice care. She will be taking FMLA leave for the next 3 months, and said “All of you have been so helpful the last 2.5 months. It is hard to ask for more. However, I would not bring Terry home if I did not know we had so many close friends and family to help out.”
I haven’t replied to this email either.
Earlier this summer, our friend’s father passed away abruptly. I didn’t know him personally, but I knew his son very well. It was sad. Very sad. He was a well known and well liked man, and had adopted 4 children of mixed race (including our friend) and before he died he had setup a scholarship fund to help minority students. His funeral was incredibly sad and moving, and I still think about it everyday.
This is different though, and I feel strange. I have watched this from afar as if it was some sort of soap opera, involving real life and death. It doesn’t make me feel sad. I just feel guilty, as if accidentally peering into their lives is invasive and robbing them of something from their last moments with Terry.
Well, Vicki, good luck with Terry. I am sorry for all you have been through.